Saturday, June 28, 2008
How to Live Without Friends
One of the natural desires of the human heart is friendship, and living without friends will require unusual lifestyle adjustment. This article will attempt to point out some ways of doing this, and address the advantages and disadvantages involved.

Steps
  1. Learn to cover your own back. Without friends, you cannot count on having immediate help. When you fall, no one will be there to help you up, so take care not to fall.
  2. Enjoy your own company. Finding solo hobbies and interests may be some help, whether it is reading, painting or other art, jigsaw or crossword puzzles, or outdoor activities like fishing, gardening, or walking.
  3. Find a pet. In real terms, this may violate the premise of the article, since pets are often the best friend a person can ever find, never complaining, gossiping behind your back, or trying to "one up" you.
  4. Schedule your day so that you get necessary things done. Without a friend to pitch in when you are behind, whether it is a buddy in school helping with homework, or a capable person helping to help move a piano, many tasks take longer to do alone, and the lack of friends to call on for help will make these jobs take longer.
  5. Give people "the time of day"...if you have deliberately chosen to live without friends, you still have a minimum responsibility to treat people decently, and intentionally hurting people to distance them should not be an option.
  6. Take account the advantages of a "friendless lifestyle". No one will be calling in the middle of the night needing to share their trouble. No one will ask for a loan till payday or allowance day. No one will borrow tools or school supplies, books, or other things.
  7. Pay attention to dressing and grooming. There will be no one to tap you on the shoulder to tell you your "fly is open"...or your shoe is untied..or you need to comb your hair.
  8. If you are a student, take copious notes in class, and do your best not to miss any school, since often teachers do not have time to go over material for an individual's benefit. Try to "get it" the first time.

Tips

  • If you are a student, you will probably find yourself on a team, whether in science lab, a history project, or in sports. Being polite and respectful will help you deal with the person/people you work with, even if you are not friends. Most of all, regardless of circumstances, when called upon to be part of a team, do your share, it is the fair thing to do.
  • Keep adequate resources, savings, and supplies.
    Exercise your spirituality. Religion is often said to fill a gap inside. Christianity, for example, teaches that you are always in the presence of a loving God. It's hard to feel lonely when you believe that. Don't be religious just to be religious, though; see if it works for you, ask yourself if you sincerely believe in the religion in question. If not, look for something else.
  • Try making friends online via chat rooms, RPGs, message boards, wikis or anything else. Online friendships are not as intimate as those in real life and usually won't solve loneliness completely, but are nonetheless a good way to feel connected and pass time.
  • Walk with your inner self. With each step, remind yourself how free it feels to be alone and what kind of thoughts you like to have as you wander on.
  • When you watch TV alone, laugh as loud as you like. Live in the moment; do not be tempted to think about how no one else is there.
  • Certain people might be your friend if you work at certain companies in your city and go out of their way to avoid eye contact if you don't. (it's like that here).

Warnings

  • Most cultures and philosophies regard human beings as socially connected. There are people who work in isolation, and they often suffer loneliness and even depression. These, especially depression, can have serious health consequences.
  • It is not advisable to avoid friendship. Without friends, you are likely to feel lonely or empty. Likewise, you should if at all possible try to build friendships.
  • Don't change yourself in ways that make you uncomfortable just to get someone to be your friend. That person will not be a true friend.
  • Don't get down on yourself if you find no one willing to be your friend. There may be nothing wrong with you.
  • There are people who will ignore, reject, or even ridicule you based on trivial things.
posted by graxiia na at 2:19 AM | Permalink |


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