Sunday, June 29, 2008
How to Live Without a Boyfriend
Okay, girls! Boys are not the most important things in our lives -here's how to enjoy life without a boyfriend
Steps
  1. Concentrate on your friends, family and school work for a bit. You're at school for a few years of your life and then you're working for about 40-50 years! Work hard now and you will find making money a lot easier when you are older. (Work smart, not hard, ladies - dig your ditches while you're young enough to do it with vigor, and life will present you with a lot more choices later.
  2. Ponder exactly why you want a boyfriend. Most of the time it is not because you feel any real emotion towards someone for who he really is, but because you are needing something to satisfy an emotional need, or even just to feed your ego. If you are the type to 'fall in love' with a guy you've known for only a few minutes, even though he's said nothing of value, try examining your own motives.
  3. Keep yourself busy! To keep your mind free of men, get some new hobbies and try new things! You never know, you could find something you really enjoy doing.
    Consider volunteer work at your church or local hospital. Seeing others with harder circumstances than having no boyfriend may help you appreciate the good things in your life.

Tips

  • Times when you are between men can be some of the most rewarding and growth-oriented times of your life. Enjoy this time to find out about yourself, do as you please, go where you want when you feel like it without checking with someone first, and sleep whenever you want to!
  • Try a hobby - photography with a digital camera is fun and doesn't cost a lot to get started. A nice Nikon Coolpix or Canon or Sony Cybershot are great choices. Learn how to take great shots now, and you'll be ready for the next boyfriend/ Try scuba diving if you're athletic and live near the beach! Or karate, or kick boxing, or yoga! Consider oil or water color painting - especially if you've never tried it or think you're not artistic. Sweetie, it's just about YOU - nobody else is going to be watching you, and you might surprise yourself.
  • Read classic literature - you'd be surprised at how much more interesting you will be to others if you have a wider breadth of experience and culture.
  • Visit museums and see beautiful works of art and statues. It's good for your soul, and art is every bit as beautiful when you look at it by yourself as if some edgy boyfriend who just wants to get home to see the game is standing next to you.
  • Definitely spend lots of time with girlfriends and family - now is your time to do this! Go to movies, theme parks, dinner, or just coffee.
  • If you didn't realize it, all of the above are great ways to meet people, doofus - get off your tail and go out there into the world. If you still don't get it, go buy a copy of Liza With a 'Z' and listen to 'Ring Them Bells' until you do. Sitting around your house moping will not make your life better, or get you any closer to having someone to share your life with.
  • Consider having a girlfriend instead. Maybe the boyfriends aren't working out for a reason. ;)

Warnings

  • Don't be cold with men. Your male friends don't deserve to be treated coldly because you are bitter about not having a boyfriend. Its not fair to make every man you interact with the punching bag for frustrations you have with your own inadequacies. Misandry never helped anyone lead a happy life.
  • If you are too desperate, needy or bitter, you'd better memorize this, because you will be living without a boyfriend for the biggest part of your life

Things You'll Need

  • Positive Attitude
  • Intestinal Fortitude
  • Confidence
  • Willingness to make the best of any situation
  • Friends
  • A little scratch wouldn't hurt
  • Maybe a nice little camera
  • Some art supplies
  • A library card
  • Movie tickets!
posted by graxiia na at 12:16 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Saturday, June 28, 2008
How to Reinvent Yourself After a Breakup (girls)
You know how it feels, one minute you think that both of you were made for each other and the next...dumped. Then you cry yourself out of existence, wishing you were prettier or sexier or something, right? Well, dry your tears and stop wasting time. The best way to make your ex desperately want you back... well, is to make him want you back.
Steps
  1. Exercise: Stop eating those chocolates. Sure they help you ease your pain away but in the long run... whoo boy, those pounds sure add up. Instead of snacking, start exercising. One, it helps create a better image. Two, better confidence. Three, it's scientifically proven to make people happier. Those three reasons should be more than enough to make you start moving, but if they don't, this might: exercising doesn't have to be limited to your house or the gym. Go attend a class, do something you've never done before, have fun (and you might find yourself another guy to ease the memories of the ex away).
  2. Makeover: There's nothing like a good pampering to ease all the troubles away, so splurge! While you're at the spa, stop by the salon and get a new haircut (a new hairstyle, not just a trim). Oh, it's too expensive? Go ask around some hair salons for their training days for their interns or buy a home coloring kit and redo your own hair. Even better, get a group of friends and host a home spa. All you have to do is go online, find some recipes, go grocery shopping (hint: more singles to interact with) and have a fun bonding moment with your friends (if you didn't dump them all when you got a boyfriend).
  3. Wardrobe: Ugh, those outdated outfits… yeah, they have to go. If you like some of them then great, keep them, but if they remind you of your ex or don’t really compliment you…donate them to goodwill. Go shopping (hint: another opportunity) and splurge.. after all that’s what women do best. Once again, if things are too expensive, go to the outlet, sales at the mall, or thrift stores, where you can find one-of-a-kind gems for a one-of-a-kind price.
  4. Scent: If you’ve been wearing that same-old tired perfume, maybe it’s time to give it a proper burial. Splurge (and there is no scrimping on this) on a really nice perfume like Chanel or Gucci, but stay away from garbage or fakes! Go for something more exotic or elegant than the one you used to wear.

Tips

  • Always carry a positive attitude with you. The old cliche: "Beauty comes from within". Yeah, that's a true saying

Warnings

  • You might attract a bit more attention from the opposite sex.
  • Do this for YOU and no one else. If you do this because you want to get your ex back, you will be more heartbroken than before. Trust me.
posted by graxiia na at 11:45 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
How to Break up With Your Girlfriend Nicely
Unhappy with your current relationship? Here are some ideas for ending it on good terms.
Steps
  1. However kind you may be, there is no way around the fact that this is going to hurt the other person. All you can do is try to minimize the pain. It's just like ripping off a sticking plaster - if you rip it off all in one go the pain will be over quickly, but if you do it slowly it will hurt for longer.
  2. Do not break up with the person by phone, instant message, or e-mail; this is disrespectful. Have the decency to do it privately and in person.
  3. Try to avoid placing blame on the other person for the break up. Be as minimalist as possible in your explanation, especially if the reason for the break up is some fault you find with your partner.
  4. Afterwards, tell the person that you hope to stay in touch and that you still care about them.
  5. And if you don't really want to be friends with her, don't say,"Oh, but we can still be friends." It hurts more if you avoid her.

Tips

  • Following these rules will make the process much more painless for both of you and may get you a positive reference in the future.
  • Never say any of the classic break-up lines like "It's not you, it's me."
  • Wait some time before getting another girlfriend, especially if your former girlfriend will run into you often. DO NOT start going with another girl right after, or even before, you break up with your girlfriend. At least have the decency to wait.

Warnings

  • Let the break up be final. Don't keep going back and hooking up with the person over and over again unless you really think there's something still there.
  • No matter how nice you are, the pain is still the same, and they're going to resent you whether you just say it or are the nicest you can be.
  • Put yourself in their place, imagine her saying whatever you will tell them to you. Don't make it so hard, and DON'T EVER IGNORE HER.
  • TALK TO HER!!!! After a few days go by, say hi to her in the halls. Tell her a joke. Be nice to her and let her know she is still your friend, just not in the way she was.
posted by graxiia na at 11:41 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
How to Cope with Depression
Depression is a terrible affliction in our society. Approximately 16% of the population have suffered from depression at least once in their lives and it is expected that by the year 2020, it will be the second leading cause of disability behind heart disease. Although medications are often prescribed to treat depression, you may want to explore other options before taking this route. However, if you are currently suffering acutely, you should not feel as though you need to wait to seek a psychiatrist for a consultation.
Steps
  1. Determine if you really are depressed, and what the problem is. Do you lack motivation? Do you have trouble enjoying things that you used to? Do you cry a lot? Does it seem that nothing is really worth doing? Do you feel that your life is meaningless? If so, it is possible that are sinking into the psychological quicksand of clinical depression.
  2. Get plenty of sleep. In the modern world, there is an increasing problem of people not getting enough sleep. Practice good sleep hygiene and try to get at least eight hours. Depression and anxiety of any sort can interfere with sleep, so this may or may not be possible.
  3. Get out of bed in the morning. If this is something you are struggling with, ask a friend to call you in the morning to make sure you are awake.
  4. Exercise. A recent study showed exercise to be as effective as Zoloft (a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor or SSRI) in treating depression. Exercise is very good for body and mind. Depression can make it hard to work up the motivation and energy to do it, but it is well worth a try. You may find long walks easier than other forms of exercise - put one foot in front of the other, and walk as far as you are able. You might work up to even 1 or 2 hours every day, but start off with shorter walks. Even if you can only manage a few minutes to start, that is still a good starting point.
  5. Watch your favorite comedy, talk with people who make you laugh, visit your childhood hangouts or do anything that helps you remember happier times.
  6. Think about happy thoughts. Focus on the details.
  7. Go out and do something you enjoy. Buy yourself something nice, get a new haircut, or eat a good meal.
  8. To get your mind off your own problems try to think of some way (big or small) you can help someone else.
  9. Talk to friends or anyone who will give you support. If you're feeling really down, have them make a list of your best qualities.
  10. Find positive outlets and channels for your emotions: music, writing, whatever.
  11. Don't compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to you at your lowest point in the past and think about what's better now. Pat yourself on the back for it. If you think you're at your lowest point ever, then imagine one small thing (the tiniest thing you can think of) that you know you can make better. And then move on from there.
  12. Don't obsess about it or be hard on yourself if you still feel depressed or aren't happy. Nothing's more depressing than being angry at yourself for being depressed.
  13. Change your life. Often times depression results from a deep-rooted desire to be in a different situation than you are right now. If you don't like your parents, move out of your house. If you don't like your city, move to a different one. If you don't like your job, find a new one.
  14. Avoid poisonous people. Although you may show your unhappiness by acting depressed, others may reveal it through negativity, treating others badly, exercising power over others, insulting others, etc. Also avoid other depressed people. Depression is contagious. It may be hard to find happy people who are willing to help you out of your funk, but it's worth it.
  15. Seek counseling. High school counselors and University counselors are paid the same amount no matter how many people they see, so they have no incentive to keep you coming back to them.
  16. Seek medical advice from a trusted family doctor if you have persistent depression. A doctor may prescribe an anti-depressant if appropriate. However, keep in mind that it may be more appropriate to seek the help of a psychiatrist, as family doctors are not as equipped to correctly diagnose and treat clinical depression, or to distinguish between it and disorders which may display similar symptoms but require different treatment.
  17. Diet & Nutrion: Ensure that you are including in your diet healthy foods and proper liquids. Too often than not we either neglect eating all together when we are depressed as well as drinking fluids or we eat too much of our favorite manufactured, chemically engineered foods with no nutrional value as well as inadvertantly robbing us of our much needed nutrients to survive all the same with drinking too much of our favorite sodas, coffees, 'fake' juice like drinks or turning to alcohol to ease our depressed mood. The depressed person (testimony of personal experience) doesn't have to make drastic changes to their diet but just adding in a few will make a world of difference and the effects are amazingly positive and instantaneous. Add in some of your favorite fruits or salads. Try ice cold water with a bit of lemon if you have trouble drinking water. Even one glass of water is helpfull and istead of sodas try your favorite sports drink (i.e. Gatorade, Propel, etc.) these alone will replenish your lost electrolytes that your body must have and as mentioned earlier. The results will be instant and you'll be amazed wondering why you didn't do it sooner.

Tips

  • Keep Breathing. Remind yourself—if you're breathing, you're winning. There is a path out of your depression, but step one is always: Keep Breathing.
  • If you are part of a religious group, talk to your fellow members or leader for guidance.
    Spend one hour out in the
    sunlight every day.
  • Avoid depressing movies, songs, art, and especially avoid depressing people.
  • If you have thoughts of suicide or self-injury, get professional help immediately. If nothing's working, avoiding help can only be detrimental.
  • Keep your surrounding warm and well-lit during the day. Prefer a well-lit room or open window curtains/blinds during the day.
  • Stay busy with work that keeps your brain occupied. A recent study has proven that when you are wholly focused on the task at hand, you are physically unable to worry or think about your troubles. And staying productive is the best way to prove to yourself that you're not worthless and things can really change.
  • In some women, depression may be caused (or worsened) by low hormone levels, most commonly progesterone. Progesterone helps keep serontonin levels from dropping too low, and low serotonin can cause depression. Doctors can test for low progesterone and prescribe it (though many doctors are unaware of the link with depression); it is even available without prescription, which gives you an idea how safe it is when used according to directions. Indications that a depression may be progesterone related are: symptoms get worse in the two weeks before menstruation, during perimenopause/menopause, or after giving birth. Anxiety-depression is most commonly seen, sometimes accompanied by severe mood swings and insomnia; some women may get more headaches/migraines. NOTE: synthetic progestins such as Provera, medroxyprogesterone, DepoProvera, and birth control pills can make these symptoms worse instead of better; when I refer to progesterone I mean that exact natural hormone specifically, not its "substitutes". Progesterone is available as Progest cream (a good brand) without prescription, and as Prometrium capsules with prescription; compounding pharmacies also make various dose forms (such as Progesterone 50 mg/ml Lotion, compounded).
  • With all of the advice given here: REMEMBER that it does not have to be done in drastic measures. One glass of water. One apple. 15min in the sun. A half hour or more earlier to bed than before or half hour or more earlier getting out of bed. A short walk to the....? end of the block, walking a little further into the store by parking farther away... just any of these common sense activities and lifestyle additions/changes that EVERYONE needs to do in order to be more healthy & active will help the average person but more dramatically, will help the depressed person.
  • If you have problems to grant yourself things or if you even think, you might not be worth to live on, try to think of yourself when you were a child. Don´t you think, this child would have deserved all the benevolence in the world for its future?
  • Try and go outside. Take a walk and think about why you've became different than the person you originally were.Go over the good things in your life that you have.(ex. You have the ability to walk,breathe, able to see the world and that you have the power to change it).
    Listen to positive music. Listen to music that you can relate to but has a more positive moral to the particular song. In its own way it gives you support and comfort you may lack else were.

Warnings

  • If you feel depressed for more than two weeks, you may have clinical depression. Seek psychiatric help and/or counseling. Clinical depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain (which itself can be caused by bad thinking habits).
  • Suicide makes it impossible for things to ever improve. Something could happen tomorrow that feels good or that shows you the way out. Make sure you're there when it happens.
  • Do not self medicate. Avoid alcohol, nicotine and illicit drugs. Try to avoid caffeine, or switch to herbal tea.
posted by graxiia na at 2:34 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
How to Live Without Friends
One of the natural desires of the human heart is friendship, and living without friends will require unusual lifestyle adjustment. This article will attempt to point out some ways of doing this, and address the advantages and disadvantages involved.

Steps
  1. Learn to cover your own back. Without friends, you cannot count on having immediate help. When you fall, no one will be there to help you up, so take care not to fall.
  2. Enjoy your own company. Finding solo hobbies and interests may be some help, whether it is reading, painting or other art, jigsaw or crossword puzzles, or outdoor activities like fishing, gardening, or walking.
  3. Find a pet. In real terms, this may violate the premise of the article, since pets are often the best friend a person can ever find, never complaining, gossiping behind your back, or trying to "one up" you.
  4. Schedule your day so that you get necessary things done. Without a friend to pitch in when you are behind, whether it is a buddy in school helping with homework, or a capable person helping to help move a piano, many tasks take longer to do alone, and the lack of friends to call on for help will make these jobs take longer.
  5. Give people "the time of day"...if you have deliberately chosen to live without friends, you still have a minimum responsibility to treat people decently, and intentionally hurting people to distance them should not be an option.
  6. Take account the advantages of a "friendless lifestyle". No one will be calling in the middle of the night needing to share their trouble. No one will ask for a loan till payday or allowance day. No one will borrow tools or school supplies, books, or other things.
  7. Pay attention to dressing and grooming. There will be no one to tap you on the shoulder to tell you your "fly is open"...or your shoe is untied..or you need to comb your hair.
  8. If you are a student, take copious notes in class, and do your best not to miss any school, since often teachers do not have time to go over material for an individual's benefit. Try to "get it" the first time.

Tips

  • If you are a student, you will probably find yourself on a team, whether in science lab, a history project, or in sports. Being polite and respectful will help you deal with the person/people you work with, even if you are not friends. Most of all, regardless of circumstances, when called upon to be part of a team, do your share, it is the fair thing to do.
  • Keep adequate resources, savings, and supplies.
    Exercise your spirituality. Religion is often said to fill a gap inside. Christianity, for example, teaches that you are always in the presence of a loving God. It's hard to feel lonely when you believe that. Don't be religious just to be religious, though; see if it works for you, ask yourself if you sincerely believe in the religion in question. If not, look for something else.
  • Try making friends online via chat rooms, RPGs, message boards, wikis or anything else. Online friendships are not as intimate as those in real life and usually won't solve loneliness completely, but are nonetheless a good way to feel connected and pass time.
  • Walk with your inner self. With each step, remind yourself how free it feels to be alone and what kind of thoughts you like to have as you wander on.
  • When you watch TV alone, laugh as loud as you like. Live in the moment; do not be tempted to think about how no one else is there.
  • Certain people might be your friend if you work at certain companies in your city and go out of their way to avoid eye contact if you don't. (it's like that here).

Warnings

  • Most cultures and philosophies regard human beings as socially connected. There are people who work in isolation, and they often suffer loneliness and even depression. These, especially depression, can have serious health consequences.
  • It is not advisable to avoid friendship. Without friends, you are likely to feel lonely or empty. Likewise, you should if at all possible try to build friendships.
  • Don't change yourself in ways that make you uncomfortable just to get someone to be your friend. That person will not be a true friend.
  • Don't get down on yourself if you find no one willing to be your friend. There may be nothing wrong with you.
  • There are people who will ignore, reject, or even ridicule you based on trivial things.
posted by graxiia na at 2:19 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
How to Be a Loner and Love It

Ok, so you like to be alone but you don't know how to tell your friends you don't like them anymore? This may help.

Steps
1. Make sure this is what you want. Do you really want to be alone all the time? If so, read on.
2. Let your friends down slowly. You can't just drop them and expect them to be ok with that. If they ask you to hang out DO NOT make an excuse, just say "No I don't want to hang out". If you do this enough they should get the hint. Explain that this is a choice you have decided to make, and ask them to try to understand.
3. Find something you love to do and have fun with it! Now that you have no friends you can enjoy your time alone.

Tips
-Try not to be too hard on your friends and let the friendships fade naturally.
-You don't have to be mean to be a loner.
-As a loner, you may find yourself with some more free time. Try taking up a new hobby such as gardening or writing to take your mind off your friends or to stop you from getting bored when you are alone.

Warnings
*This is not something you should do impulsively. Friends aren't playing cards, they can't be dropped and suddenly picked up.

Things You'll Need
*Activities you enjoy alone, like hobbies or video games.
*Sufficient resources to keep you occupied until you die, and the ability to cope with daily situations. Without friends, you won't be able to borrow school supplies, or other things you may run out of or forget.

posted by graxiia na at 2:13 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
How to Be an Actress
There's already a lot to cover when it comes to learning how to act, whether you're male or female. But there are certain things you need to consider if you're an aspiring actress.
Steps
  1. Learn how to act. It seems obvious, but a lot of women gloss over the importance of acting skills because they're used to getting away with things due to their good looks. An attractive appearance may help you get certain roles, but don't let that give you the illusion that you're a good actress. Neglect your acting craft and you will hit a dead end sooner or later.
  2. Study women's roles. This is especially important if you want to be taken seriously as an actress. If you don't choose roles carefully, you'll end up becoming just another pretty, replaceable face. You might have to turn down lucrative roles, but a real actress has to be selective about [[Create Your Acting Resumecreating her acting resume] and must keep her future in mind.
  3. Learn how to cry on the spot. Odds are, you're going to need to play more emotional parts than a man would be asked to. The extent to which viewers can relate to your emotions has a direct effect on your success as an actress.
  4. Be versatile when it comes to your physical appearance. Are you willing to dye your hair, shave your head, put on thirty pounds? Do you really think you'll get the role of an introspective, well-educated librarian if you bounce in with scrunchy blonde hair and pink shorts? Take pride in your ability, and don't let your appearance get in the way.

Tips

  1. Remember that you always need something to fall back on. Acting is a very competitive business. Not everyone will make it in the business, so you should always have something you can do other than acting.
  2. Get pictures taken by a professional photographer (they won't be as good if you don't). You need composite cards and head shots. Comp. cards have a color picture on one side with your name and 3-4 more pictures on the back with your stats like height, weight, measurements, etc. Head shots are black and white but must be from the chest up at the most, looking straight into the camera, and it has your name at the bottom. On the back, staple a resume.

Warnings

  • Sadly, this is a business where you WILL be judged on your looks at some point or another.
  • Don't be naive, and don't get pulled into a scam by a flattering con artist. Put your ego aside and see if the opportunity is legit.

Things You'll Need

  • Head shots
  • a resume including your experience, skills, and stats
  • A reel if you've done any film
  • Read as many acting technique and audition books as you can, they can be found on Amazon.com.
posted by graxiia na at 2:00 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Friday, June 6, 2008
Leap Years
According to the Gregorian calendar, which is the civil calendar in use today, years evenly divisible by 4 are leap years, with the exception of centurial years that are not evenly divisible by 400. Therefore, the years 1700, 1800, 1900 and 2100 are not leap years, but 1600, 2000, and 2400 are leap years.

The Gregorian calendar year is intended to be of the same length as the cycle of the seasons. However, the cycle of the seasons, technically known as the tropical year, is approximately 365.2422 days. Since a calendar year consists of an integral number of whole days, a calendar year cannot exactly match the tropical year. If the calendar year always consisted of 365 days, it would be short of the tropical year by about 0.2422 days every year. Over a century, the calendar and the seasons would depart by about 24 days, so that the beginning of spring in the northern hemisphere would shift from March 20 to April 13.

To synchronize the calendar and tropical years, leap days are periodically added to the calendar, forming leap years. If a leap day is added every fourth year, the average length of the calendar year is 365.25 days. This was the basis of the Julian calendar, introduced by Julius Caesar in 46 B.C. In this case the calendar year is longer than the tropical year by about 0.0078 days. Over a century this difference accumulates to a little over three quarters of a day. From the time of Julius Caesar to thesixteenth century A.D., the beginning of spring shifted from March 23 to March 11.

When Pope Gregory XIII instituted the Gregorian calendar in 1582, the calendar was shifted to make the beginning of spring fall on March 21 and a new system of leap days was introduced. Instead of intercalating a leap day every fourth year, 97 leap days would be introduced every 400 years, according to the rule given above. Thus, the average Gregorian calendar year is 365.2425 days in length. This agrees to within a half a minute of the length of the tropical year. It will take about 3300 years before the Gregorian calendar is as much as one day out of step with the seasons.
posted by graxiia na at 10:26 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Monday, June 2, 2008
How to Fall Out of Love

Are you the victim of cruel fate? Does the "perfect" mate think you are better off as friends? Although it might feel like you'll never find somebody better, there are some ways you can move on. Falling out of love is as unique to each individual as falling in love, but here are some healthy ways to cut your emotional ties.

STEPS

1. Make a list of all the reasons it wasn't meant to be. The number one reason should be that you are worth someone who loves you and who thinks you are awesome. It's always flattering to have an admirer, but you deserve better than to just be somebody's ego boost. Other reasons may include incompatibility, especially when you imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with this person and remember the ways in which you clash on a regular basis. Human memory can be selective, and you may find yourself dwelling on that first kiss in the park, or that time when you laughed till you almost cried...but also remember the times when you felt neglected, unappreciated, betrayed, or even deeply annoyed.

  • See their faults. Nobody is perfect. The longer you hold on to the idea that this person is perfect, the harder it'll be to get on with your life. It's completely possible that you're idealizing someone just so that you can have a fantasy to hold on to. You should accept that this person is not perfect, and definitely not perfect for you -- because the perfect person for you would think as highly of you as you do of them.
  • Think of what you want from a significant other that you didn't get from this person. Was he or she arrogant? Cold? Controlling? Write down the opposites of those traits (humble, warm, and empowering) and put them wherever you can see them often. Not only will you see what this person didn't have, but you'll learn from this experience and look forward to finding someone who better suits you.
  • Ask yourself if it was really true love you were feeling for this person. Read How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust. If you recognize that it was infatuation or lust rather than love, then you will have an easier time letting go.

2. Remove as many traces of their presence in your life as you can. This is very, very difficult but also very important. Ask friends and family to help you sort through things and put anything that reminds you of him or her in a box. If you want to give these things back to the person, mail them--don't give it to them in person and torture yourself. An alternative is to bury the box (presuming it won't contaminate the water supply), burn it (with caution), or throw it (forcefully) into the dumpster. The physical act of destroying reminders of them may help your emotional side catch up.

  • If you lived together, consider redecorating. Even moving furniture around can help dilute those feelings that will inevitably surge when you wake up without them next to you. If it's possible and necessary, you might even consider moving.

3. Distance yourself. You won't want to, but staying close to someone you want but can't have just isn't healthy. Don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. Don't call them, don't go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself.

  • The object of your affection might notice you are distancing yourself from them. They may try to get you to see them more. Say you have been really busy with all of these new activities. Tell them you have other things to do, too. You must have a life separate from theirs. Don't answer their calls and don't call them or text message them. You will be tempted to, but don't. It is far too easy to get entangled again and think of all the good work you have done to distance yourself.
  • Don't assume after distancing yourself for awhile that you are over it. Be careful to make sure you are fully over this person before you see the person again.
  • If this person was an unhealthy influence in your life (controlling, manipulative, abusive, etc.), cut them out completely. There's no obligation to stay on good terms with someone who made your life miserable, even if they didn't mean to. They may try to make you feel sorry for them in order to keep you wrapped around their finger. Cut off all ties and move on. Read How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship.

4. Do all the things you've ever wanted to do, that you wouldn't have done if you were still with this person. Did you always want to take a tango class, but didn't because he or she "doesn't dance, period" and you didn't want to go without them? Did you want to go to that car, fashion, or antique lamp show with your friends, but felt reluctant to spend your day off with someone other than your love? Did you want to travel to an exotic country, but your partner didn't want to go because it's too hot/dirty/boring? Maybe--probably--there are ways in which the relationship held you back. Now is the perfect time to focus on those missed opportunities. Do whatever you can to feel better about yourself. Exercise, eat well, take a class, meet people, go to parties, have fun. Life is too short to spend it pining for someone who doesn't see you for the great person you are. There are those out there who will.

5. Mingle. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to meet new people who share similar interests. If you choose to date, avoid the temptation to settle for whomever asks you out, just to distract you from your old flame, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you whom you don't love back!

6. Understand that the feelings may never fade completely. You felt close to this person at one point in your life, and while you can eventually realize emotionally that you've grown apart, you will probably always have a soft spot for him or her. At some point, it may be possible to remain friends, but mind the boundaries and don't let your heart fall back into it.

TIPS

  • You might want to compare everyone to the object of your affection, and you won't think anyone measures up. Stop this right now. You know there's someone better out there.
  • Distancing yourself includes staying away from the other person on online sites such as MySpace, Friendster and Facebook - delete them as a friend, that way you won't receive any updates inadvertently.
  • Distract yourself and keep yourself busy at all times. Make sure to let everyone know that you're on the market and you're free and independent. There's no need to emotionally hurt yourself as that person you were with is not worth being an emotional wreck!
posted by graxiia na at 8:51 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
IM YOURS
Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
And now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family.
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
I like one big family (2nd time: I like happy family)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours
posted by graxiia na at 8:48 PM | Permalink | 0 comments