1. However kind you may be, there is no way around the fact that this is going to hurt the other person. All you can do is try to minimize the pain. It's just like ripping off a sticking plaster - if you rip it off all in one go the pain will be over quickly, but if you do it slowly it will hurt for longer.
2. Do not break up with the person by phone, instant message, or e-mail; this is disrespectful. Have the decency to do it privately and in person.
3. Try to avoid placing blame on the other person for the break up. Be as minimalist as possible in your explanation, especially if the reason for the break up is some fault you find with your partner.
4. Afterwards, tell the person that you hope to stay in touch and that you still care about them.
5. And if you don't really want to be friends with her, don't say,"Oh, but we can still be friends." It hurts more if you avoid her.

Tips

• Following these rules will make the process much more painless for both of you and may get you a positive reference in the future.
• Never say any of the classic break-up lines like "It's not you, it's me."
• Wait some time before getting another girlfriend, especially if your former girlfriend will run into you often. DO NOT start going with another girl right after, or even before, you break up with your girlfriend. At least have the decency to wait.

Warnings

• Let the break up be final. Don't keep going back and hooking up with the person over and over again unless you really think there's something still there.
• No matter how nice you are, the pain is still the same, and they're going to resent you whether you just say it or are the nicest you can be.
• Put yourself in their place, imagine her saying whatever you will tell them to you. Don't make it so hard, and DON'T EVER IGNORE HER.
• TALK TO HER!!!! After a few days go by, say hi to her in the halls. Tell her a joke. Be nice to her and let her know she is still your friend, just not in the way she was.