Have you ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they wanted to tear their hair out? This article should help you!

Steps

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that you have to go to the bathroom, and that you think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call to them things like: "Are you doing OK in there?" and if there are other people in the bathroom proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you are finished in the bathroom, come out with a sigh of relief and be sure to tell them all about your time in the bathroom. (Even if they would rather you didn't.)
2. Sing along to everything. If they are listening to their iPod, help yourself to one of their headphones and start singing along to the song (if you're tone deaf this works really well). Remember, you don't have to even know the words to the song, just make them up as you go along–the dumber your lyrics the better! Also, if you are watching TV, sing along with all of the commercial jingles.
3. Hug random people. Just randomly run up to people and give them a hug. Tell them that you are so glad to see them and that they are your best friend ever. Then, right in front of them, do the same thing to some other person.
4. Ask private questions. You can either ask a ton of these to one person, or spread it around. If you are going to do this to any random person, do things like ask a man if he has ever had an abortion or is pregnant, or ask a 13 year old if they have ever been to rehab, had a drug intervention, or if they are wasted/drunk.
5. Laugh for no reason. OK, picture this: Complete silence, possibly a classroom, in church, or something like that. How annoying do you think it would be if you just randomly burst out laughing? (Spitting a little isn't a bad thing either.) Also, point and laugh at people without explaining yourself, just keep pointing at them and laughing uncontrollably.
6. Make up inside jokes. Not the kind you share with a few of your friends, just the kind that you don't share with anyone, just yourself. For instance, just yell out the word "Peanut Butter" and start laughing and if someone asks you why that's funny, just tell them all it's an inside joke.
7. Make animal sounds. Sneak up behind someone and go baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, to some people, this will give them goosebumps. Also, when you are getting yelled at or scolded, just make a questioning "baaahh?" or "rrribbitt?" works too.
8. Make prank phone calls. If you are off from school at some abnormal time and people you know are in school, call them on their cell phones in the middle of class! Call random numbers in the phone book and ask them if they would like to share a baloney sandwich, or the old refidgerator running call is probably the most annoying in the book! Feel free to use it all the time!
9. Use IM acronyms. Speak in all acronyms. Instead of actually laughing just say "LOL!" Instead of acting surprised, just say OMG in a totally unexcited tone.
10. Be sarcastic. about everything, to the point that people have absolutely no idea what you are even trying to say
11. Sing Peanut butter jelly time over and over!! It gets annoying after a while for people!
12. Quote Dr. Phil(and over do it) Trust me on this one. If you keep saying "drop that twinkie" "That dog don't hunt", and "Did you fall out of the dumb tree?" long enough, you will have the crap beaten out of you. For extra credit, shave the top of your head and grow a mustache (or glue one on).
13. You have to smell the part too Wear really strong perfume/colonge, apply about a barrel a day.
14. Spray it, don't say it Spit when you talk (it really makes people mad).
15. Talk about feelings Always start the conversation with 'I feel' this and 'you hurt my feelings' that and don't stop. It will drive people crazy. It also helps if you get out an acoustic gituar and talk about how everything hurts your feelings.
16. Complain non-stop No one wants to be around a whiner.

When online

1. WRITE EVERYTHING IN CAPS LOCK OVERUSE CAPS LOCK! WHEN YOU REALLY SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS THOUGH, USE ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS!
2. Dont use any punctuation go ahead let your sentences run together dont use periods exclamation points question marks or even commas or aposthropes its even ok to notusethespacebar and get really upset when people dont have a clue on what your saying
3. purposlly spall thengs rong (Purposely spell things wrong) al the tyme and agin, bee reilly opset whin ppl dont understand u.
4. overuse the comma, for example: today, I, really, had, a, bad, day.
5. uSe StIcKy cApS cApItAlIzE eVeRy oThEr lEtTeR.
6. Don't use grammar dont not worry about making no any sense at all and forget all of everything you ever learned grammar-wise and speak in run on sentences and be really wordy and then don't change how you're writing when people ask you what you mean
7. Capitalize Each Word This Annoys Some People Very, Very Much.
8. s bsltly n vwls (Use absolutely no vowels) fw thngs r mr nnyng thn ppl tht s n vwls
9. Answer every thing they say with "WAT" getting bigger and bigger every time, eventually underline it. They'll get so annoyed.

When at a movie

1. Ask the person behind the counter(preferably if they are wearing a work uniform!), "Hi, do you work here? Or are you just wearing that uniform because it's cool?" Or simply ask them, "Wow! Where ever did you get that outfit? If I had an outfit like that, I would wear it everyday!"
2. If you have already seen the movie playing in a theater, stick your head through the doorway and yell out the ending.
3. Laugh obnoxiously at really corny jokes.
4. When an important part is playing (like when they find out who the killer is or something) Sneeze or cough loudly and disturbingly
5. Shush everyone who says anything, and then go into this loud discussion on how it's very rude to talk during a movie because some people might be trying to watch it.
6. If there is any kind of kissing scene, yell "eeeeeewwwwwww! Gross!" while throwing popcorn at the screen.
7. Make sure to sit in the middle of the row, then every 10 minutes get up and go to the ailse. Walk around a bit and then return to your middle seat. Maybe pause halfway down the aisle to your seat.
8. Ask the manager at the concession stand if the straws are free.
9. If someone is sitting in front of you, start kicking the person's seat and don't stop. You can also (if you have stepped into something gross) put your feet up. The dirtier your shoes are, the better.
10. Go ahead, make those annoying slurping sounds trying to get those last few drops of soda.
11. Bring 2 or more people with you to start a conversation while the movie is playing and make sure to be near as many people as possible. Be as loud and obnoxious as possible. If anyone tells you to zip it, throw popcorn at them.
12. If no one wants to be with you, bring your cellphone and don't bother to put it on vibrate. Make sure that your cellphone goes off like a car alarm and don't answer it for at least a minute.
13. Bring your jogging suit and start doing laps of the aisles, be sure to pant loud and move your hips like an expert walker.

Tips

• When you get tired of being annoying, check out our article on How to Not Be Annoying.
• If you want tips on how to be annoying/weird check out Fred on Youtube. You can learn a lot from watching the Fred channel thing.
• You might want to enhance your skills by watching as many daxflame videos as possible on YouTube. Start with Haircut/how hard is it to get an order right so you'll know what to do when you're invited to a neighbor's BBQ.

Warnings

• In most cases, this will not encourage other people to enjoy your company.
• Being too annoying can lead to pain.