There is always a grieving period when you have lost a spouse or someone you thought was a "soul mate". The loss may be as a result of death, divorce or a break up. So how do you survive after the grieving?
Steps
- Say yes to every opportunity to learn, grow and meet new people.
- Be grateful for what you have. After the grieving period, focus on what you do have for example, good health and a good support system of family and friends.
- Don't be afraid to invest yourself in deep relationships with other people. You don't have to be dating somebody to have a intimate and fulfilling relationship with them. Don't be afraid to open up and be vulnerable sometimes.
- Decide for yourself if there are aspects of your life or your personality that you would like to change and do it. You are your best evaluator. You don't need to listen to those people who tell you that you are single because you are too "picky", too fat,or too old to meet someone else.
- Ignore the toxic people in your life. It is easy to recognize them. Their negative words of fear and discouragement sap your energy.
- Think about all the things you can do because you are now single. You could take off and go travelling without discussing it with somebody else. You can watch TV all day without being called lazy. You don't actually have to do these things but, sometimes, just the knowledge that you could is enough to make you feel great.
- Invest in yourself. Save some money and get a professional massage. Get a manicure and pedicure .... anything that nurtures your body and lifts your spirit.
Tips
- Look in your local newspaper for opportunities to join a service club or volunteer with an organization. Look in your church newsletter for church related activities if that makes you happy. Check the continuing education program at your local community college to see if there is a class that you would like to attend.
- Now that you are single, you will discover that there are some ignorant friends, family and neighbors who think that being single means you are desperate and stupid. Don't be offended. Just drop them from your close circle.
- Host a Singles Party. Ask single friends, male and female, to invite at least one other single friend.
Warnings
- You can learn new things from anyone you could possibly meet, but be careful; choose people who teach you in a positive way rather than a negative one. Some lessons are better learned through observation, rather than experience. You are vulnerable but not stupid. Be wary of persons who need to borrow your money.
- Consult a therapist or your doctor if you are depressed. You can also build yourself up by pushing yourself - take classes at the community college that target your learning needs of self in some way (psychology, art, self-defense, women's studies, for ex.) That way if you aren't comfortable seeing a therapist yet, you can effectively learn about yourself without isolating yourself at the same time. This can also be done by attending religious services that you can trust. Self help books, (Dr. Phil has a way of writing his books so that they can seem one-on-one with you), reading the Bible, or the topics on Wiki How-To on personal growth can truly help you if you take the advice. This time of being single is also an excellent opportunity to reach out & become more family oriented. After all, this may be a time you need them most! Family isn't defined as, or limited to, only those to whom you are blood-related.
